I Can Explain...

You lost what?!?

2009-03-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks Heather!

Sounds good to me...

2009-03-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

My kinda place...

Really, this is in the same vein as the pictures posted the other day. I know Kum & Go (I swear, I cannot say that without a little prepubescent giggle) is a fairly decent sized convenience store chain, but truly, what were they thinking?!?

Why?!?

2009-03-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

Warning: Not suitable for children. And possibly adults, too.

What is with the fascination of men's balls? First of all, they aren't that great looking (Remember Seinfeld's Good Naked and Bad Naked? Nuff said.) Secondly, no one wants to see them just hanging out there for the world to see. Real or not.

Allow me to prove my point:

A closer look:

Why?! Just why??? I certainly wouldn't want to put my hand on that thing. (Those things?)

And then apparently no man's vehicle is complete without its own pair:

But let us not forget the ladies! You all need your own pair, too! As a fashion accessory:

See? You can have your own pair for the low low price of $1800.00.

Finally, we don't want to leave out our canine companions. Now we all know that spaying and neutering is a must these days because of the overpopulation of unwanted animals. But for those pet owners that do not want their best boys to do without, I offer you... Neuticles:

Implants for your pup!

Point proven.

Just Too Unfortunate

2009-03-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

Does no one stand back and take a good look at these things before giving the A-okay?

Monday Mondegreen

2009-03-09T06:54:00.001-07:00

A mondegreen is the misinterpretation of a line or lyric due to homophony (or sound-a-like words).

That is the only explanation I can provide for this viral video. But it is hysterical. And it has the same stay-with-you quality as It's a Small World. (You're welcome.)

Warning: This video is only suitable for adult viewers that lack delicate sensibilities.

THE Fan

2009-03-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, there is an explanation for what you are about to witness: He's a big fan. Yay for him.

What I cannot explain is why, why, why his significant other agreed to help him achieve this. And you know she did. How the hell else would he possibly accomplish this?

Okay, that's enough for this Sunday. You may be excused to go poke your mind's eye out now.

Poodle Power

2009-03-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

Admittedly, I am not a Poodle person. While I love dogs, Poodles have never held a place in my heart. I imagine Poodle owners as either 90 year old grandmas or crazy eyed show kennel owners. But now, I think I have to expand my definition of Poodle owners. (Stay with me, you'll see...)

Before you Poodle lovers get mad at me, let me explain what I mean. (See, I can explain sometimes!)

This is 90 year old grandma's Poodle:

Unsurprisingly, this is the Poodle I would attribute to a crazy eyed kennel owner (CEKO):

Suddenly a new breed of insanity in the Poodle world has appeared. It shall make the CEKO seem rather drab and sane, even. And truly, there is no explanation for this:

There's even a lucky charm for March!

Banana What?!

2009-03-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

Seriously? I've seen a rubber banana before...

...but this is the first time I've seen a banana rubber.

Yes! You read that right. Protection for your banana.
(They are sensitive, you know.)

Truly.

You just can't make this shit up:
The Banana Bunker

I Can Explain?

2009-03-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

I was going to take a moment to explain what this particular blog is about, but the truth is, I cannot really explain it.

Right now it is just a concept based on the fact that I have the tendency to get a laugh from the oddest things that seem to have no logical explanation. That is what I hope to showcase in this blog. The weird, the quirky, the unhinged and, of course, the just really really f'ed up.

So, if you have something that made you say, "WTF?!?", then email it to me and I'll feature it on this blog!

explainitplease@gmail.com